If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we made out on top of his cat.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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