she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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