I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
