Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
