I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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