yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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