so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
