I want to make a zoo with you.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
