Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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