went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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