I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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