what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
