erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
