I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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