Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
