Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
