dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
