my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
