I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
