She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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