Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
