my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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