you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
