i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
how do you play pong handcuffed?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
