definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
