Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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