it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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