So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
