Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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