we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
