im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
