Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
