I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
