what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
