guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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