Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
