Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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