All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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