During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
