Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
