woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
