Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
