i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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