ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
