I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
