I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
