at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
