Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
