Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
