Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
