I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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