Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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