Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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